So, just as one of our cars was due for registration renewal and inspection, the check engine light on it came on. We took it into the shop and had some valve, the AC system, and a couple other things fixed and the mechanic told me that they could not do the inspection yet because the car has to pass a “drive cycle” before the engine light will turn off.
What the hell is a drive cycle?
Well, it turns out that the on board diagnostics (OBD) computer has to run some self tests on the emissions system. Those tests are set to “Incomplete” or INC whenever you reset a code in the computer, disconnect the battery, or replace one of those components. After certain conditions while driving are met, the tests run and mark each component as “OK”. When that’s all done, the engine light goes off and the car can pass inspection.
But the freaking light won’t go off!
And without an ODBII scanner, you have no idea why. So I bought such a scanner, and finally that damn check engine light means something. Why they can’t put the text of the code on one of the numerous text capable displays in the car without the need to plug in a serial cable connected to this gizmo to get the code is beyond me. Well, the scanner told me that a couple of the “drive cycle” tests were still “INC”. Hmmm. But we drove it for like a week! One mechanic told me “drive like 150 miles”. Another said “just run over to Greensboro and back, that ought to do it”. Really? You guys don’t know how it works either?
Again, What the hell is a drive cycle?
Oh, drive cycle, right! Well, depending on the car, you have to do a few things like idle from a cold start with the AC and rear defrost ON for 2.5 minutes. And run at 55 MPH for 3 minutes after a half throttle acceleration. Oh, and coast from 55 mph to 20 mph WITHOUT TOUCHING THE BRAKE! Really? That’s pretty specific stuff and I don’t think I was ever going to trigger the accelerate with NO AC AND NO ELECTRICAL LOAD in the middle of August in North Carolina. That AC is ALWAYS on!
Well, some Google searching and I found out the exact conditions that the OBD drive cycle tests need. Armed with that knowledge, I can get the car to run all it’s tests in about 20 minutes.
But the light’s still on!
Sigh. Well, it turns out that the gear shift computer just started throwing an error. U0404. Yeah, I got your 404 right here, buddy. @#$%^&! The car is all ready to go for the emissions inspection but can’t pass until that freaking light is off. So, it goes back to the shop next week to fix that code, probably will need my expert gyrations through another drive cycle, and a quick verification on my trusty new OBD Scanner and THEN maybe it’ll pass the inspection and I can do my guest spot on Car Talk…